Are you really "failing"?

Picture this: it's Tuesday morning and your son's 11th birthday. You wake up late because you were up late the night before working and stressing. Knowing he is sad that you have to go into the office all day on his birthday you work it out so he can open his gifts from his parents before you leave. You love watching him open them and give him a huge hug and say happy birthday before you run out the door to go to work.

Now you get to the office at 8:58AM just in time for a meeting you're supposed to run and you're completely disheveled and forget some or all of your talking points. Luckily you have another person in the room kind of enough to remind you of everything you forgot. Running from that meeting you answer questions and joke with colleagues until you realize you had a 9:30 meeting you are 15 minutes for. The day continues in this fashion of lateness and forgetfulness until it's 4:30pm and you can finally rush home to the family party waiting. You pick up pizza, hang out with family and sing happy Birthday. Once everyone leaves you snuggle the boy who is now 11 and wonder when he won't want that anymore while hoping it never happens.

Through all of this you feel behind and overwhelmed and, let just be real here, like a failure. You know everyone can see and feel your anxiety today and everyone is wondering why you're so last minute. Whether that's true or not that is what churns inside you making you more stressed than before.

Why do we as parents, caregivers, spouses and leaders feel we have to be everything to everyone all of the time? Is this ultimately sustainable and what are the possible long-term implications? Being told we are superhuman or having people say "I don't know how you do it" is exhausting by itself. Some days I barely feel human, never mind super lol. We go through these cycles where we feel like it's not what are we failing at right now, but what AREN'T we failing at.

The question remains though, is it failure at all? Or should we embrace the fact that we are human, we get overwhelmed and make mistakes and cannot be everything to everyone all the time. How do we begin to do that without feeling more out of control? In my case, let's just say that some days are better than others. There are days where I believe I am failing absolutely. Others where I can pull muyself out. There are also days where friends or family or even people I work with pull me out because they recognize I am losing the battle. Just hearing that you are doing a good job, or that you are appreciates goes so incredibly far. But, if you do not have a support system that recognizes those times for you, maybe there a few things that can help. Write in a journal, start a blog no one reads (hahahaha), put up sticky notes to remind yourself that you are doing amazing or put up other inspiring and positive messages. Try it and see if it helps. Try it all! Just do not give up and try to find it in your heart to give yourself some grace.